it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
