Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
