Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Even my vagina gasped.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
