Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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