how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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