In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
