I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
