the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
