Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
