I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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