This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
