they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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