oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
