the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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