"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
