So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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