I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
