he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
