apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
