So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
