in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
