My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
