Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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