You work out of a Hotel?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
