My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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