i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
