you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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