Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
