whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
