I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
