I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
