Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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