I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wish there were birth control emojis
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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