ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
