Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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