Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
