She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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