Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
