how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
