my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
