I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
