This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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