who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
