Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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