Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
