yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
