First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
