the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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