it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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