This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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