Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
