Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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