Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
