He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
