I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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