Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
there is puke in my bra ... again
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
